Thursday, May 22, 2008

Christmas Island relocation trial: Day 3.

Well, another bombshell today. After a grueling morning of expert testimony by economists, intellectual property lawyers, real estate agents, rock critics, demographers and Dr. Richard Florida, they finally called some of the members of Christmas Island to the stand to testify. First up was the guitarist, Jessica Cormany. She brought her guitar to the stand with her.

"I'm not really a verbal person," she mumbled. "So if it pleases the court, I'd prefer to sing instead."

Judeg Ranvek allowed it. "This is a song I wrote one morning on the water taxi between Fulton Ferry Landing and Pier 11, looking out at the Brooklyn Bridge," she explained, fighting back tears. "It's the happiest I've ever been in my entire life."

Then she played the song. It was the most beautiful song I have ever heard. It was the most beautiful song anyone in the room had ever heard. The whole room was blubbering by the second verse.

Now I'm not a songwriter, but I know good work when I hear it. And gosh damn it, these kids are really good.

Our Armitage Heights lawyers looked sad and nervous. Judge Ranvek looked tearful. My assistant Marisha, sobbing softly, leaned in to tell me this: "That's not even their best song. That wasn't even on the EP. That was only available on a vinyl benefit compilation for when the Lakesider closed. They've got a million songs that good. All the new ones are about New York City."

The tide may have shifted in the kids' favor.

We'll see how day four goes.

Below is the courtroom sketch of Jessica playing her song.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Christmas Island relocation trial: Day 2.


Above: Brooklyn's Councilman Yassky.

A big bombshell in the Christmas Island trial this morning. The Armitage Heights team brought in a surprise witness, David Yassky, who represents Brooklyn's 33rd Council District on the New York City Council. The 33rd Council District is comprised of Greenpoint, Brooklyn Heights, Boerum Hill, Park Slope and Williamsburg.

"As much as I appreciate the artistry of these kids, the 33rd doesn't particularly need another musical group of this sort right now," he said in his testimony. "Our resources are strained as is, and the idea that we might be able to offer your neighborhood some unspecifed renumeration for taking in these kids is ridiculous."

There was a gasp from the courtroom. Yassky waved his hand. "They're good. I've heard that EP they put out on KRS, they absolutely remind me of Of Montreal, in a good way. But we have plenty of equally great homegrown Brooklyn acts also reminscent of Of Montreal right in our city already. One more is not, from a strictly economic or cultural perspective, at all necessary." Yassky continued: "I'd advise these kids to stay right where they are, here in your wonderful neighborhood."

The court was audibly delighted to hear Councilman Yassky note that "Armitage Heights really does remind me a lot of parts of Greenpoint."

Looks bad for the kids. Their bassist -- I'll have to get her name from Marisha -- looked to be on the verge of tears. We'll see how day 3 goes.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Christmas Island relocation trial begins today.

There's considerable activity downtown near the courthouse this afternoon, across from City Hall, where I am writing you from.

You'll recall that before Sherman left to be a part of the Clinton campaign, he initiated some (to my mind) questionable legal action against the beloved "indie-pop" music group Christmas Island to legally prevent them from relocating to Brooklyn to pursue their musical careers, arguing that they had become (to quote the brief) "an essential and indispensible part of the fabric of our city's economic and cultural well-being." Now a few months later, Case Number CV-95-297833, Armitage Heights Neighborhood Development Organization v. Christmas Island, L.L.C., et al., is finally coming up before the Pierce County Court of Common Pleas.

Christmas Island, as far as I've heard, is trying to get the City of Brooklyn and Kings County to intervene on their behalf, and in order to prevent an injunction, possibly work out a trade agreement with Armitage Heights of some kind. I'm not sure what precedent there is for this, as my law school days are well behind me. I just hope those Christmas Island kids have some friends that passed the bar after their bands broke up.

Anyway, this should be an interesting one. I'll post updates and what-not from the civil trial as they are available.


Above: Two members of Christmas Island outside the Pierce County Courthouse downtown.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Neighborhood Focus: The Trunnion District

Well, I get a lot of press releases faxed here, and sometimes there's some pretty interesting stuff. Take this, for example: something called Urban Beat magazine named the Trunnion District in Kendall Park the "most quickly gentrifying neighborhood in America" this month. Sherman used to do a thing called "Neighborhood Focus," so I guess I'll format this thing like one of those.

The Trunnion District, at its height in the 1870s, produced more trunnions then any city in the United States. Trunnions are critical to the manufacture of heavy artillery cannons, and no one made finer trunnions than our local companies -- United Trunnion, American Trunnion Works, Mishipeshu Trunnions. I remember it pretty well. My grandfather on my mother's side was trunnionsmith, a big, brooding Irishman. He hated trunnions to his dying day, but he used to say that trunnions kept his 27 children fed and clothed. "Charlie," he used to say, "I have dreams about feckin' trunnions every night. But those trunnions are what made us a family. Trunnions are what made this city great."

Anyway, the trunnion business fell on hard times after the Spanish-American War, and eventually, all the trunnion plants closed, leaving only the Mishie Trunnion Foundry by 1920. They hung on through the fallow trunnion years of post-cannon warfare by landing an exclusive contract with the Principality of Pinerolo, manufacturing the trunnions used for that city-state's elaborate bi-annual ceremonial battlefield drilling re-enactments, and occasionally landing lucrative one-off contracts with eccentric billionaires, historic arms dealers, artisanal artillery buffs, LARPers, producers for medium-budget BBC costume dramas, and miscelleaneous cannon perverts. The Pinerolo contract expired in 2003, and two years later, the plant was shuttered and its nineteen employees were laid off.


Mishipeshu Trunnion Foundry, 1856-2005

By 2006, the area was an urban wasteland, beset by arson, homicides and gang wars. Between 2005 and 2006, the Mishipeshu Police Department reported that violent crime in the precinct had skyrocketed 300%. The area was generally considered off-limits for residents of the city, and for several months in 2006 acquired the inelegant and stupid nickname the "Runnin' [From Gunshots] District." There was an influx of dozens of poverty-stricken native Esperanto speakers from the nearby Esperanto District, mostly separatists whose embrace of the Ido constructed language had lost them their jobs and homes in the more prosperous sections of Kendall Park. Average household income for the Trunnion District, a once fairly propserous working-class area, sunk below $9,000. The area continued to decay into 2007.


The corner of North 18th Avenue and East Wilson Street, March 2006.

Stories of cheap warehouse space, delicious ethnic Esperantan food, lax noise ordinance law enforcement and gorgeous brownstone Victorian architecture began to bring in a few dozen rock bands, artists, monogmaous gay couples, scooter enthusiasts and bohemians into the neighborhood in early 2007. Local zines and alternative media outlets began to declare the Trunnion District the "new Cassock District." By the end of 2007, a thriving new art and rock scene had sprung up along Wilson Avenue, much to the dismay of more conservative Esperantans and trunnionsmiths.


Free-Press noise-rock darlings Frost Creep at STORE, their rehearsal space/art gallery in the old Steve's World of Store Fixtures at 1800 East Wilson Street, April 2007.

"The Trunnion District, once known for something called 'trunnions' and then briefly for poverty and crime and now apparently for exciting new developments in twee-revival rock music and time-based media art is also now apparently the hottest new thing in upscale urban living!" crowed the Mishipeshu Herald-Tribune in a Lifestyles section editoral from early 2008. By early this year, construction had already begun on three new loft-style condo developments, a MINI Cooper dealership, two Starbucks coffee franchises and a Sonoma-Williams outlet.



The new Cannon Flats Lofts, set to open in July. The old Steve's World of Store Fixtures / STORE Gallery now houses a Mini Cooper dealership.


Urban Beat notes that this is an almost unprecendented opportunity for at least four generations of neighborhood residents to interact simultaneously. And believe me, they do, too. I get complaints from this neighborhood about everyone. I get probably a dozen variations on the "Those trunnionmakers/poor people/gay rock bands/condo developing yuppies are screwing this neighborhood up" email per week. "That this entire cycle could happen in the space of three years is nothing short of remarkable," says the magazine. I guess we'll take accolades where we can get 'em.