Our one year anniversary!

One year ago today, I sat down at my computer in my office at City Hall downtown and typed out the very first entry of this blog, the Armitage Heights Clarion. As I said then, my goal was to post "information about things happening around the neighborhood, news for residents and business owners, updates from city council meetings, and maybe even a few tips about life around the city!"

And so I have! What a year! Who could have imagined then what a wild -- and productive -- year the neighborhood would have?

Looking back, it's hard to believe so much happened in the space of a year, both positive and non-positive. There were the Winter Parade disturbances last year, the troubling emergence of the Kaos Krew as a major force on the international art scene, the unfortunate dysenteric death of handgun activist Marla Manda Johanssen (and brouhaha over her proposed memorial), the demisesquecentennial of the Zeppelin District, my assault and subsequent hospitalization at the hands of a fellow councilperson, my abbreviated U2-themed vacation to Ireland, kidnapping and brief career in the illegal underground 1984 Boston Celtics Dubai hostage basketball league , my assistant Marisha's housesitting woes with Mitt Romney's freeloading kids followed by his outrageous denunciation of Marisha, the meteoric rise of indie-rock superstars the October Revolutionists, my court-mandated re-election over Ms. Johnanssen's son Barry and a host of challengers, and of course, the tragic and still-shocking death of unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski. And too many other neighorhood events and news tidbits to count!

Needless to say, it's been a wonderful year writing this blog for everyone. I hope to be around to serve the people the 3rd Ward for many years to come, and I hope you will continue to find the Clarion a useful, reliable and fun source of inform about this great neighborhood. It's definitely "in ur computer, conveyin ur nayborhood pride," as those great internet cats might say.

Rockwell Katz: "My zeppelin fleet will find Sherman."

Internet mogul and amateur zeppelin enthusiast Rockwell Katz.

Marisha here -- your letters, emails and notes have been flooding the office since the news of Councilman Larson's disappearance in Ireland last week. We're keeping a live feed of updates from Dublin at Sherman's official City Council website. Commissioner Noel Conroy of Garda Síochána, the Irish national police force, has expressed hope that Sherman is probably just lost somewhere.

There have been many events scheduled in the next few days to raise money and awareness, and hopefully help lead to Sherman's recovery.

A Battle of the U2 Cover Bands Benefit Concert will be held tomorrow night at 9:00 PM at the Evarts Avenue Tavern, featuring some of the metro area's best U2 cover bands, like Unforgettable Fire, 40 Foot Lemon, The Francis Gary Powers Experience, Mothers of the Disappeared, Gloria and the Octobers, U3 and Love Is A Temple. The Evarts Avenue Tavern is located at 3809 E. Evarts Avenue in Armitage Heights.

GoSystemsCorp.com Zeppelinarium CEO Rockwell Katz also held a press conference yesterday, announcing his initiative to comb the Irish countryside with four of his new zeppelins in hopes of locating Sherman. "Zeppelins are the ideal tool for locating missing persons," he said. "They are high in the air and slow-moving, allowing for careful and thorough observation of the ground before." Katz then pointed out that zeppelins have assisted in the recovery of over one dozen missing persons since 1916. "There is a tradition here that I will help carry on into the new century."

Below is a graphic Katz presented at the press conference, and a photo of his lead zeppelin, the U.S.S. GoSystemsCorp.com. He mentioned that this undertaking will cost "probably in the ballpark of $75 million" of his own fortune. I reminded Katz later that Sherman actually voted against granting him a license to open his zeppelinarium, and he just laughed.

"Zeppelins aren't about bad feelings from the past, Marisha," he said. Then he paused. "Well, actually, they are, which is exactly why I'm doing this. A man is in trouble, and the least I can do is use my resources to help find him and bring him back. What is it I have? Zeppelins, that's what."

So I guess once Katz's injunction to legally bring a zeppelin into the European Union goes through, and the zeppelins are shipped to Dublin and launched from an as-yet-unconstructed zeppelinarium, he will be on his way to making Sherman the first missing person located with the assistance of a zeppelin since 1940.

Urban lifestyles, available now.

There's been some criticism in the local press as of late regarding the condo boom we've been enjoying here in the Heights recently. Specifically, a few naysayers have predicted that the slight slowdown we've been experiencing in sales is the beginning of a long-term trend. In fact, the Heights Free Press goes on to say that many of the flagship condominium developments are "poorly-conceived, badly marketed, cynically developed, economically dubious and generally, just completely lacking in even the most basic comprehension of the fundamentals of urban living, city planning, real estate, aesthetics, ecomonics, construction, historic preservation, engineering, taste or human decency."

The Free Press is entitled to it's opinion, of course, but let's not be ridiculous. The condo developments we have going on at the present time are affordable, sustainable and attractive, and just because there's been a slight downturn in sales doesn't mean we should all go into hysterics. In fact, I'm going to list here a few of the exciting developments that we have going on in the real estate market, and you can see for yourself how attractive, affordable and responsible urban condo living really is.

A lot of these developments are throwing in special bonuses, like plasma screen TVs, association fee waivers and coupons to delicious restaurants, so act fast!

• Zeppelin Flats - art-deco luxury in the heart of the Zeppelin District
• Les Resevoir - fine water-side urban living
• Poutine Flats - old world-style luxury in the heart of the Poutine District
• The Refinery - refined urban living in a Steam Age setting
• Harbour Docks Flats Highrise - lakeside living at shipping-yard prices
• The Esperanto Lofts (Apartmentos Luksaĵos Esperantos) - Mi ŝatasrenkonti novajn homojn en Arondismento Esperanto!
• Olde Section 8 Village Centre - the rebirth of a new luxury address in South Hanley
• Cassock District Arts and Leisure Quarter - let yourself be blessed with urban luxury, my son
• Mishipeshu-Akron-Buffalo Railroad Switchyard Lofts - get on the fast track to luxurious urban living
• Gruyere Flats Luxury Condominiums and Artisanal Cheese Depository - sharp, dry, delicious living in the historic St. Aloysius Greek Orthodox Veterans Hospital & Sanitarium in Kendall Park

The Zeppelin District's Demisesquicentennial!

The S.S. Armitage prepares to dock near the Franz Joseph Hermann Michael Maria Von Papen Memorial Zeppelinarium on Evarts Avenue, circa 1933. Note the old Amalgamated Gravy Building on the left.

Friday, March 17 will mark the 75th anniversary of the creation of the Zeppelin District in Armitage Heights, and the creation of the country's first dedicated Zeppelin port, the Franz Joseph Hermann Michael Maria Von Papen Memorial Zeppelinarium!

At the time of its construction, the Von Papen was the largest fully operational dedicated zeppelin port in the United States, and the third largest in the world. It was named (perhaps prematurely) for the contemporary right-wing chancellor of Germany, who actually left office two months after the dedication, and ended up later helping appoint Hitler, and being tried at Nuremberg for war crimes. So in 1941, with the city running a cataclysmic deficit and the nation on the brink of war with Germany, the port was renamed, for the sake of political and financial expediency, the Andreas Wolfgang Von Papen Zeppelinarium, after a minor German poet of the Romantic era -- thus relieving the city of the need to change the building's external signage, stationary and phone book listings. Of course, by 1941, no zeppelins had docked in the port for five years, and none would ever again, so it was a moot point anyway. The Von Papen was largely dismantled as a functioning zeppelin port in 1953 -- indeed, it was the last fully operational dedicated zeppelin port in the world at that time -- and was used as an administrative offices for the port authority and storage for Winter Parade floats throughout the 1950s.

During this time, the Von Papen building was still a landmark in the Zeppelin District, though the site was largely occupied by unemployed itinerant downstate agricultural workers, and notoriously gritty. The building was shuttered in 1962, and stood empty and generally unnoticed throughout the next few decades. Attention was refocused back on the building, however, when in 1982, a group of right-wing academics uncovered reams of unpublished, scandalously homoerotic-themed poems in Andreas Von Papen's private papers. Von Papen was catapulted almost overnight from a minor Romantic poet to a major homosexual literary icon. The name "Von Papen" became synonymous with homosexuality, the once-obscure poet being featured on the covers of literary journals and news magazines all over the world, and hailed as the "Godfather of Queer Poetry" and "The 19th Century's Greatest Gay Writer." The conservative Republican then-mayor of the city, Charles Kirkpatrick Carmichael, immediately demanded the name of the building be changed, despite the fact that the building was largely unoccupied. The resulting furor between gay rights activists, right-wing Christian groups and literary historians was documented beautifully in Kimball F. Burin's 1983 nonfiction work The Butterflies of Fear.

Of course, all of this furor overshadowed the elegant Modernist simplicity of the building and its unique function in aeronautical history. In a compromise that left no one happy, the building was renamed the Armitage Heights Homosexual War Veterans Memorial Zeppelinarium and State Historic Site, and it kept that name until last year. It was acquired through the city in 1985, and used to store transmissions and spare parts for metro transit buses.

In 2005, the site was purchased by wealthy California Internet mogul and amateur zeppelin enthusiast Rockwell Katz, who renamed the site GoSystemsCorp Zeppelinarium, after his profitable dot.com company. He has been refurbishing the site in the intervening years, and just in time for its demisesquicentennial, he promises to dock an actual zeppelin for the first time since 1939!

Of course, I voted against allowing granting Katz a license on the grounds of public safety -- in fact, his proposal is still tied up in the district courts, but if Katz prevails and gets the appropriate licenses and permits in the next week, you may see a sight over our neighborhood that no one has seen for decades: a zeppelin over the skies of Armitage Heights!

Regardless of whether or not that happens, there will be a number of exciting events all weekend!

• A free outdoor performance in Zeppelin Park by The Crunge, the metro's best Led Zeppelin tribute band.
• A record release show by the October Revolutionists at Spike's, at 1206 N. Stanton Avenue. Their new CD a concept album called We Fly On Higher, Ever Higher, which is based on the early history of the zeppelin industry. My assistant Marisha said last month she thought it was the greatest album she'd heard in years!
• A lecture by Kimball Burin on the writing of The Butterflies of Fear, followed by a question-and-answer session, held at the Evarts Avenue Tavern at 3809 E. Evarts Avenue.
• A panel discussion on the legacy of Andreas Von Papen, conducted by the University of Mishipeshu's LGBT Studies program.
• Free Zeppelin-shaped cookies from the Armitage Heights Bakery at 3210 E. Evarts Avenue.
• And of course, tours all day of the new Zeppelin Flats luxury condos, which will occupy half of the space of the GoSystems Zeppelinarium! Visit http://www.zeppelindistrictliving.com/ for more information!

See you there!