Man Vs. God Vs. Starwood Hotels: Why I'm Voting "No."

Man Vs. God Memorial Park -- in development plans, this portion would be incorporated into the pillars for the interior for a Wolfgang Puck restaurant.

When I came into the office this morning, there was much to be done. My assistant Marisha was already hard at work typing up the minutes from my meeting with the Esperanto District Retailers' Council (a.k.a. the Konsilantaro Detalisto Esperanto) from yesterday, which is never easy work, since Chairman Weaver still insists on delivering his remarks in Esperanto, and the city won't pay for Marisha to take lessons, so she has to transcribe the meeting phonetically, and then attempt to translate her notes back into English. There was an update from the Metro Council 3rd Ward Porter Weiss Memorial Novelist Laureate Search Task Force, which is nearing a decision after months of deliberation. There were noise complaints from the residental pockets off Stanton Avenue in the Cassock District near the Lakesider again from the recent "screamo" bill headlined by I Promise To See You Die And I Will show. There was indeed much to tackle.

But I could only think of one thing.

It was a remarkable dream I had last night. Marisha is standing over me begging me not to mention this, but it was too powerful not to share.

This is it: in the dream, I was standing here, in my office, and I hear a knock on the door. I open it, and standing there is ghostly apparitions of two of our neighborhood's greatest statesmen, Councilman Spence Whitmarsh and Senator Fletcher O. Casady! They walked in and had a seat. And before I could say anything, they spoke.

Both were accomplished public speakers while they were alive (1938-1971 and 1861-1934, respectively), and they were both true to form in my dream, speaking with great eloquence. The thing they had on their minds was the proposed destruction of beloved hippie art garden Man Vs. God Memorial Park -- a project which Whitmarsh personally greenlit during his tenure as 3rd Ward councilman.

"We built a lot of beautiful art during my tenure, Sherman," said Councilman Whitmarsh. "And you'd vote to destroy it?"

"Verily!" said Senator Casady. "You would vouchsafe to undertake this detestable deed, Mr. Larson? For shame, for shame! Confound it, Council-man, have you no sense of history?"

Then they both looked at me, and repeated over and over Senator Casady's best-known adage: "A man must will himself to righteousness, and right himself to willfullness!" until I awoke.

And I lay there for a moment, and it occured to me: I must follow the example of these principled leaders. I must will myself to righteousness.

That is why you have my pledge that the city will not sell Man Vs. God to any developers, no matter how generous their offers. Because to me, nothing is more beautiful than Soviet scrap submarine parts forged in the furnaces of our neighborhood's great artists in the 1970s, piled high on a beautiful green parcel of land in the middle of a bustling neighborhood, and given life. There is certainly room in our neighborhood for development and for exciting new projects of all kinds, but let's leave a grand old landmark like Man Vs. God out of it.

Which is why I'm voting "no" on selling the property. Senator Casady would have voted "no," Councilman Whitmarsh would have voted "no," and so will I.

Well, actually, Casady might not have thought Man Vs. God was a bit "queer" (in contemporary parlance), but the point remains. Honestly, I think it's pretty weird and hippie too, but there are certain values that rise above mere taste. This is one of them.