Kaos Krew: "Our Dublin posse are on the case, yo."

Music video director, model and fashion designer L'il Warsaw of the Kaos Kollective, formerly known as the Armitage Heights Kaos Krew.


A news bulletin from the Kaos Krew's new website:

It is with heavy heartz that we learned recently of Councilman Sherman Larson's disappearance, right in the backyard of our adopted homeland of Great Britain. Though we had our differencez with Sherman while we still lived in Armitage Heightz, we always thought of him as a man whose authority we could respect. It is because of his ceaseless attention into getting the word out about our street art that we began our rise to international superstardom. We pray to the one true God that he will turn up soon.

We have also mobilized our Irish crew to comb the streetz of Dubtown to turn him up. We got some krazy konnectionz there. The least we can do is lend a hand of support to the brave men and women of the Irish police force that are working so tirelessly to locate Sherman.

Finally, we will be travelling to Dubtown ourselvez to sponsor a benefit concert called SHERMAN WHERE U @ Fest 2007, headlined by our good friends Tricky, the Arctic Monkeys, Common, Goldie, Simon Le Bon, Michel Gondry, Kate Moss, Massive Attack, the Editors, Shepard Fairey, Phillip Glass, Amy Winehouse, RZA, Bloc Party, Razorlight, Nas, Pete Doherty, Kaiser Chiefs, the Streets, Lily Allen, the Go Team, the Chemical Brothers featuring Noel Gallagher, Art Brut, Jonny Greenwood, Primal Scream, Basement Jaxx, Tracey Emin, Damon Albarn, GZA, Snow Patrol, Supergrass, Stella McCartney, Jenny Saville, M.I.A., Bianca Jagger, Julian Casablancas, Ash, Jarvis Cocker, Ms. Dynamite, Guy Ritchie, John Lurie, Slick Rick, Damian Hirst, the Pet Shop Boys, Dirty Pretty Things, Scott Walker, Stereo MCs, Marc Jacobs, David Beckham, Dizzee Rascal, Martin Bashir, Mark E. Smith, Vivienne Westwood, Kasabian, Chloe Sevigny, the Chapman Brothers, Peter O'Toole, Timbaland, Damo Suzuki, Futura 2000, Lady Sovereign, Yelloman, Goldfrapp, Starsailor, Joss Stone, Todd Oldham, Monie Love, Craig David, Malcolm McLaren, Martin Amis, Super Furry Animals, Kelis, the Doves, Andrew Ridgeley, Manic Street Preachers, Matthew Barney, So Solid Crew, Vincent Gallo, the Dandy Warhols, Keane, Fela Kuti, John Cale, Sporty Spice, Dr. Alex Patterson of the Orb, Mos Def, MC Lyte, Peter and Gordon, Pete Best, Chad and Jeremy, Heavy D & the Boyz, Peter Gabriel, Mark Ecko, Lady Pink, and a few very special guests, including the amazing Muse featuring KRS-One with Lou Reed on drums. Please visit the website for more details, and to learn how you can help us find our friend.

Peace out.

Rockwell Katz: "My zeppelin fleet will find Sherman."

Internet mogul and amateur zeppelin enthusiast Rockwell Katz.

Marisha here -- your letters, emails and notes have been flooding the office since the news of Councilman Larson's disappearance in Ireland last week. We're keeping a live feed of updates from Dublin at Sherman's official City Council website. Commissioner Noel Conroy of Garda Síochána, the Irish national police force, has expressed hope that Sherman is probably just lost somewhere.

There have been many events scheduled in the next few days to raise money and awareness, and hopefully help lead to Sherman's recovery.

A Battle of the U2 Cover Bands Benefit Concert will be held tomorrow night at 9:00 PM at the Evarts Avenue Tavern, featuring some of the metro area's best U2 cover bands, like Unforgettable Fire, 40 Foot Lemon, The Francis Gary Powers Experience, Mothers of the Disappeared, Gloria and the Octobers, U3 and Love Is A Temple. The Evarts Avenue Tavern is located at 3809 E. Evarts Avenue in Armitage Heights.

GoSystemsCorp.com Zeppelinarium CEO Rockwell Katz also held a press conference yesterday, announcing his initiative to comb the Irish countryside with four of his new zeppelins in hopes of locating Sherman. "Zeppelins are the ideal tool for locating missing persons," he said. "They are high in the air and slow-moving, allowing for careful and thorough observation of the ground before." Katz then pointed out that zeppelins have assisted in the recovery of over one dozen missing persons since 1916. "There is a tradition here that I will help carry on into the new century."

Below is a graphic Katz presented at the press conference, and a photo of his lead zeppelin, the U.S.S. GoSystemsCorp.com. He mentioned that this undertaking will cost "probably in the ballpark of $75 million" of his own fortune. I reminded Katz later that Sherman actually voted against granting him a license to open his zeppelinarium, and he just laughed.

"Zeppelins aren't about bad feelings from the past, Marisha," he said. Then he paused. "Well, actually, they are, which is exactly why I'm doing this. A man is in trouble, and the least I can do is use my resources to help find him and bring him back. What is it I have? Zeppelins, that's what."

So I guess once Katz's injunction to legally bring a zeppelin into the European Union goes through, and the zeppelins are shipped to Dublin and launched from an as-yet-unconstructed zeppelinarium, he will be on his way to making Sherman the first missing person located with the assistance of a zeppelin since 1940.

Ireland searches for Sherman.

The Dublin apartment and childhood home of U2 bassist Larry Mullen Jr., where Sherman Larson was last seen.

From the BBC's website:

A search has been launched for US politician Sherman Larson, who went missing in Dublin following a tour on Thursday.

Mr Larson was reportedly last seen with his tour group at the childhood home of U2 bassist Larry Mullen, Jr.

Both the police and Mr Larson's tour company say they still have no leads about the missing politician.

Mr Larson, a city council member from the American city of Mishipeshu, was visiting Ireland on a three-week tour themed around the Irish rock band U2.

His assistant, Marisha Ferguson, filed a missing persons' report with the American embassy in Dublin on Sunday, saying no-one had heard from Mr Larson since Thursday evening.

Mr Larson represents the Armitage Heights neighborhood of Mishipeshu, perhaps best known for its zeppelinarium and large Esperanto-speaking community.

Ms Ferguson herself has come under scrutiny in the US media recently for expelling former Massachusetts governor and US presidential candidate Mitt Romney's children from Mr Larson's home. Mr Romney issued a statement today wishing for "a speedy return for Councilman Larson," but also hinted that Ms Ferguson has fabricated the story to "distract from her awful behavior regarding my boys."

In a press conference today, Commissioner Noel Conroy of Garda Síochána, the Irish national police force, expressed confidence that Mr Larson was "alive and well and would be located very soon."

Mr Mullen expressed his hope on behalf of U2 that Mr Larson would "turn up soon," and stressed the tour group was "in no way affiliated with or endorsed by U2 or its members."

Ms Ferguson had no comments for the media.

Friday local blog round-up.

Hi everyone, Marisha here. Well, it's been an interesting couple of days here in the neighborhood, as you may have read. Mitt Romney and his damn Rod and Tod Flanders kids have managed to demonize me in the national spotlight, and the neighborhood is in turmoil as the late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski lies in state.

Sherman appears to be unreachable in Ireland for the near future, and his replacement blogger, Councilman Reeves Sinderman (R.-8th Ward) refuses to execute his duties -- he's still upset about the Romney thing, which is his fault anyway. So it appears to be left to me to fill in and hope Sherman is back soon.

Here, then, are some links to a wide range of excellent local blogs for you to enjoy over the three-day weekend. They really show off some of the talent in our local blogging community.

...From My Cold Dead Hands: State Rep. Brooks: is he our Joseph Stalin?
the many lives of jennifer b.: my acupuncturist is a whore
Cinematters.net: I still can't believe Ingmar Bergman and Michaelangelo Antonioni died on the same day
Armitage Heights Shopping Blog: The hidden gems of Fairchild Parkway-U.S. Highway 73
kiss my grits: some cool ideas for new parking meters
Emoscreamodreamo: Upon All the Living and the Dead are the new I Promise To See You Die And I Will
The Kendall Parker: There's no good grocery stores on Stanton Avenue.
Faithblog: Remembering late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski.
WMSH6.com: Who was late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski?
Armitage Heights Fress Press: The secret last wishes of late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski
Strikethrough: Late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski in his own words.
Mr. Destructo: The many outrages of late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski.

"Liberals like Marisha Ferguson are what's wrong with America."

An excerpt from Mitt Romney's speech before the Southern Nevada Young Republicans Association in Henderson, Nevada yesterday afternoon. - Marisha

"What's the Democrats' vision for America? I'll tell you, because my five sons got to meet her last week in person -- maybe you heard."

[laughter]

"Oh, there she is!"

[image of Marisha Ferguson appears on screen behind Governor Romney.]

[boos]

"The Democrats' vision for America is a know-it-all leftist graduate student on a government paycheck, with no real skills, making arbitrary decisions about who and who isn't welcome in their community. Well, I've got news for you, Marisha Ferguson -- your actions speak volumes about you and the party you represent. You know, these people say the problem is with America. People like Marisha, they see America as some awful, embarrassing problem to be solved. Well that's not the America I know. I'll tell you what the real problem is -- not America, but liberals like Marisha Ferguson. Elitist, imperious liberals like Marisha Ferguson are what's wrong with America."

[raucous applause]

The Romney wars continue.

Marisha here. Well, what to say. Things are taking a sort of rough turn here at Sherman's place.

I actually had to physically kick the Romney brothers out of Sherman's house where they were staying. I haven't heard from Sherman in Ireland since last Thursday, and can't seem to get ahold of him. The Romneys were out of control, and someone had to do something. Cleaning the bathrooms and blaring the Killers 24/7 was bad, but it got worse when they started rifling through Sherman's personal belongings. I came in to check up on them Sunday night, and they had removed all of the coffee, tea and alcohol out of the kitchen and were pouring it down a storm drain the backyard, and even worse, removing all the of the books from the living room they found offensive.

"Look at this," yelled Biff (or Jake, or Jeff, or whichever one it was) at me, waving a copy of Kimball Burin's account of his 1973 Senate campaign Slaughter of the Innocents in my face. "This filth! You people actually elected this guy to public office? He's a socialist! This is the kind of trash my dad is going to clean up when he's elected President!"

They were removing handfuls of books and DVDs and taking them out to the curb. They had actually stripped the top layer of porcelain off of the bathtub because they were scrubbing it so vigorously. One of them -- I think Skip Romney -- had actually gone to the Home Depot in Seabridge and had purchased a posthole digger, a bunch of lumber and whitewash, intending to build a white picket fence in Sherman's yard.

And the Killers. Looping. Looping. Looping...

I told them it was time for them to get the hell out, that Sherman hadn't invited them anyway, and they could go stay with Reeves Sinderman in his suburban McMansion.

Biff (or Alex, or Eric, or whoever) accused me of being an unclean foul-mouthed Jezebel.

But those Romney boys are a polite bunch, if nothing else, and shuffled out the door back into their SUVs and drove off. I left a message with Megan Van Deest, Reeves Sinderman's assistant, that I had sent the Romneys off, and they were her problem now. She called me a lesbian. It turns out the Romneys called their dad, and Mitt flew them back to Massachusetts that night.

I wish that I could have gotten Sherman's OK on this, since it's his house, but I haven't heard from him. He seems to be off the grid. I have no idea where he could be in Ireland that would put him out of touch for so long, but I hope to hear from him soon.

All the news vans that were covering unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski's funeral in Little Warsaw have now sped across the neighborhood, and are camped outside, covering what the right-wing blogs have taken to calling "the Mitt-Sherman blood feud." I've heard that Mitt Romney is preparing a statement about how his poor boys were treated here in Armitage Heights.

"Poor boys." Really. I don't care how handsome and cleancut those "boys" are: you don't invite yourself into someone's house without their permission, set up an operations headquarters, use their phones to raise money to combat gay marriage and socialized medicine on behalf of your rich handsome dad, clean people's bathrooms, toss out their caffeinated drinks, blare crappy Mormon rock groups on their stereos, construct white picket fences in their backyard for photo-ops, and throw their 1970s-era New Journalism anthologies out onto the streets because you don't like them. If thinking that makes me a lesbian, than I guess that's what I am.

I am going to sleep now.

Above: Supporters of late unlicensed non-Muslim cleric the Ayatollah Martin Wisniewski hold a candlelight vigil near his former home in Kendall Park last night.