Contest! Can you write our neighborhood's "Official Song"?

There are so many creative people here in our neighborhood. It's a fact I am reminded of every time I am invited to an art opening or musical event. Once again, I was reminded of that fact this past week. Before the monthly Coffee With Your Councilman meeting at the Mysterious Brews, I sat in to enjoy the open mic night, where various musicians took to the stage to perform songs that they had written, or at least songs written by John Denver. Well, it got me to thinking that there's so much talent around, why doesn't someone write a song about Armitage Heights? Nothing quite spells out neighborhood pride like a song, and if we had an official song, it could be played whenever people gathered -- a new tradition for the neighborhood. Parades, council meetings, basketball games for our boys and girls over at Hanley High School.

I wondered first if there were some songs that had already been written about our community that we might find usable. I had my assistant Marisha do some research on the subject, and after a long day of combing the Armitage Heights and Armitage Hill branch libraries, the archives at the University of Mishipeshu Music History Department, and a few local record stores of her own choosing, she turned up a few tunes that referred to our neighborhood!

All of them are certainly of historic importance, and some are pleasant to bop along to, but the references to mystical freemasonry, union-busting, cuckoldry and heroin don't really fit the image of the vibrant, diverse and progressive 3rd Ward that we live in today.

Regardless, here are some of them that could concievably be used as our Official Neighhborhood Song:

"Armitage Freemason's Hall March," by John Philip Sousa (1891). A stirring anthem, written in commemoration of the construction of the old Freemason's Hall at 30th Street and Armitage Avenue in 1891. There is also a frankly strange poem associated with the piece called Marvellous Triumph of the Divine Architect that was composed by a local writer and Freemason named Dr. F. Lucius Grotting, which was read by him during the march's performance. Of course, the Freemason's Hall has not existed for a generation, and the site is currently occupied by a Dave & Busters. Furthermore, Grotting was arrested three months later for eating several rabbis in Hanley. This probably isn't the best choice, then.

"God Will Damn This Wicked Union," by Dave "Sawtooth" Wilson (1919). A great history song by this renowned folk pioneer and Armitage Heights native, who participated in the noted deadly Armitage Harbor Shipping Riots of 1917. This song, which namechecks a number of well-known locations here in the neighborhood (such as the old Ward Hall and the old Wihinapa Police Building), is a stirring denouncement of union corruption, management practices and police brutality. Unfortunately, that probably doesn't put our "best foot forward" as a community. So, probably not the best choice. Plus, old "Sawtooth" was a Socialist, which probably would not sit well with some of our Republican friends in Armitage Hill.

"Armitage Avenue Blues," by Big Caroline Miller (1934). Another charming old-time number by a native and musical pioneer, which is a virtual catalog of names and places along the Avenue circa 1934! Of course, it's also about killing a cuckolded husband on the floor of a certain well-known historic watering hole in Little Warsaw so Ms. Miller can be with her new lover. So, probably not the best choice. Although the horn solo in the middle is quite exciting.

"Stanton Ave. Cop," by the Druids (1979). At first I thought this speedy punk song was about police officers, and I suppose tangentially it is, but it actually appears to primarily be about heroin. Not the best choice.

So there you have our past -- I'm not sure any of those are really what we're looking for. Who will be the future of this neighborhood's musical identity? Please submit your proposals to me, Councilman Sherman Larson c/o the Metro Council, located at the Metro Government Center at 1 Pierce Plaza, or email me at sherman.larson@armhts.ci.whi.us. I'll listen to them with a panel of experts chosen by me, and the best one we'll play to open an official ceremony at a ward meeting later this year!

Good luck!

Best,
Sherman